Domestic violence and abuse against women - Characteristics of abusive men

Domestic violence and abuse against women is seen throughout history..The power imbalance and concept that family problems are private kept women from disclosing abuse.Usually abuse was done by only disturbed or mentally ill people.The victims are often innocent and defenceless.Nowadays it is seen in rural and urban areas also.There is a verbal aggression which involves yelling and name calling.The physical aggression ranges from pushing,slapping,beating,punching and if it goes very violent,it can lead to murder as well.The abuser thinks that abusing is a way of controlling the victim,the woman.Ultimately it leads to a marital discord between the couple.The abuser is  an alcoholic at times but not always.In case they are alcoholics they just blame it all on the alcohol that they have consumed.The person could have been also a victim of child abuse himself.Persons suffering from severe physical aggression could be suffering from personality disorder,emotional lability and poor self-esteem.Women suffering from physical abuse experience depression,psychophysiologic illnesses,eating disorders and anxiety.The man uses his physical strength,power and violence to maintain the patriarchial view of woman’s place in the home.Another important issue to be looked at is the intergenerational transmission of violence.The abuser learns about violence from his family,usually his father or grandfather.Research shows such abusers revealing history of harsh physical punishment ranging from spanking to being hit with objects as a means of discipline in their childhood days.The abusers also revealed physical violence between his parents.Low income and unemployment also is seen as triggering factors for physical violence.There are men who say after beating their wives”I only hit her because I needed to keep her in her line”The abuser also reveals his mindset which says”I should teach her a lesson”.Physical violence can also be termed as”battering”The abuser usually suffers from insecurity,low frustration tolerance and unusual amount of jealousy.The abuser denies,blames and lies about his own actions.The abuser often sets a person as an example in his life and follows that person blindly.eg.his father also would have abused his mother.The abuser expects to be treated as special saying that he is the provider for the family.The abuser has no consideration even if the wife is sick or is tired.There is also a sexual cruelty involved.The abuser has no slightest consideration towards the woman in distress.Physical abuse continues during pregnancy and even after child birth.The woman often wonders whether the abusive husband will ever change.The abuser may be a successful lawyer,Doctor,business professional,engineer,etc.The abuser usually lies and denies that he caused any physical violence or abuse.

Domestic violence is considered a crime all over the world.Please do not hesitate to tell your family or friends about it.Do not be a silent victim especially if you have a child/children.Imagine that child growing up without a mother in the same physically abusive home after your abuser murders you.Counselling may effectively help both the abuser and the victim but the extent of damage caused by the abuser to the victim decides how far counselling would work.